Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Hunger sneaking up on me

I had a bit of a tough night last night.  Had planned my run, even got to the point of tying my shoes and then the fear hit.  I just didn't want to do it.  And I didn't.  Part of it, besides the fear I think, was that I was hungry.  In hindsight, I could have just taken five minutes to eat an apple and maybe the night would have turned out differently.  But, I didn't. 

Instead of running, I decided to get started on dinner and do some housework.  I planned to make split pea soup - which I love and is perfect for this cooler weather we're having.   But, what stinks is that it takes about 2 hours to make.  This wouldn't really have been an issue, but I was already hungry.  Overly hungry = binge eating.  The binging wasn't as bad as it could have been, for sure, but it certainly made me feel guilty and there was some inner negative talk going on.  So, while the soup was cooking, I ate a serving of Easy Mac, a special K bar, and a tablespoon of peanut butter.  After the peanut butter, I caught myself trying to come up with creative concoctions to make healthy ingredients unhealthy, and snapped myself out of it. 

I'm not great at recognizing when I'm hungry.  Sometimes, I'll realize that I'm thinking about food a lot, and that's a cue for me, but more often than not, I'll just be going about my life and all of a sudden hunger will hit me like a ton of bricks.  And it's ravenous hunger.  I rarely feel when I'm just starting to get hungry.  I'm hoping that with time, I can get better at that. 

So, I overate and didn't exercise last night.  It is what it is.

I started "Skinny Bitch" yesterday and listened some more this morning during my bus commute.  It's pretty harsh, but there's not a lot of info that's a surprise to me.  So far, it's been about not putting sugar or chemicals into your body.  There's a lot of praise for organic foods, and a lot of criticisim of overly processed foods and artificial sweeteners.  I'm not a smoker, occasionally drink coffee, and I rarely drink soda, so the critiques on those issues didn't really bother me.  I'm not sure I'm ready to totally cut high fructose corn syrup or asparatame totally out of my diet, but I figure it can't hurt to be more aware of what is in what I'm eating. 

Biggest Loser is on tonight - I know, I'm a sap, but I love it.  I don't love any of the contestants so far this season...we'll see how tonight goes.  I know I'll get invested in it. 


Monday, September 28, 2009

Saturday's sushi and other stuff

Well, it's a cool, blustery fall morning in the Twin Cities today.  It feels good, but I also feel like we were a little cheated out of a real summer - it was really cool most of June and we just didn't have a ton of sunny days this year.   Don't get me wrong, I do LOVE fall though. 

I'm super dehydrated this morning, I didn't drink near enough water yesterday.  We were out and about looking for an area rug for our living room.  Unfortunately, we went to about 8 stores and no dice.  I'm going to do some looking online..maybe CL or ebay will have something for us. 

So, Saturday night we went out for sushi at Origami to celebrate J's and our friend Beth's birthdays.  It was a really fun time.  J wanted to order "omakase", which basically means it's chef's choice.  It was pricey, but we got a TON of food and got to try some really different things that I definitely wouldn't normally have tried.  We had sea urchin for the first time, which we both agreed was very strange - it's a paste like consistancy and has an almost musty taste to it.  Also tried toro, which was like a really fatty tuna and that was really good.  Everyone else got a bunch of rolls to share and seemed really happy.  So, my opinion on Origami is definitely better after our second visit, but I still prefer Saji-ya on Grand. 

Sundays are our grocery days, so usually Sunday mornings I plan out our main meals for the week and write up a shopping list.  I like having a plan (remember, I'm a great planner) and not having to wonder what I'm going to eat for dinner when I get home.  Anyway, the last 4 weeks or so, I've been on the lookout for a new Special K bar my co-worker told me about - Chocolatey Pretzel.  If you are a sweet/salty fan, this is the snack for you!  Finally, yesterday they appeared at Cub!  I was so excited, I bought two boxes.  They aren't nutritionally signficant in anyway, and have no fiber to speak of, but they are super tasty and at 90 calories great substitute for a vending machine snack. 

Today I'm starting a new audio book, "Skinny Bitch" by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.  My old hairdresser had recommended it, and I thought I would give it a try.  I'll let you know what I think.

Well, that's about all I've got for today.  I've got another C25K run planned for tonight - no hesitation creeping in yet!

Saturday, September 26, 2009


So, last night when I got home from work, my plan was to do a C25K run before we went to dinner.  I distracted myself with wrapping J's bday gift and doing a load of laundry and decided to skip the workout.  This morning when I woke up I thought, "I should run today, but maybe I'll just walk".  That's when it hit me, I was afraid of doing my run.  This happens to me frequently, actually.  I find myself hesitating when I think about doing my planned runs.  Of course, there's no logical reason for me to fear running.  Yes, it can be uncomfortable, but not really enough to incite fear.  I think this is one of my key issues and that it's tied into not challenging myself.  But, now, I know I can be on the look-out for those feelings of hesitation and be aware of where they are coming from.  So, this morning, I faced my fear (sucked it up) and did the run I had planned for last night - it went great! One of those runs that gives you the adreneline rush at the end. :-)

Dinner last night at K-Wok was really good. It's right down on Riverside across the street from the Acadia Cafe.  Apparently, K-Wok has been in business for 15 years, but under new ownership for the last 7 months.  It's also the only restaurant in town that serves Filipino food.  It's not fancy, but the food was great - we had lumpia for an appetizer, I had a Malaysian beef curry dish and J got a pork dish in a tomato sauce.  For dessert, we had turon and halo-halo, which were both awesome.  It was a ton of food.  We have enough leftovers for two more meals. The service was slow, as they only had one waiter (who I also believe is the owner), but we weren't in any hurry.  The waiter/owner (Ramon) was very kind and he talked with us for a while after our meal.  If you are looking for authentic Southeast Asian food, this is the place to try.

Our plan for today is to buy an area rug for our downstairs living room.  It's very echo-y in there and I'd like to try to make it a little more homey.  Then tonight is SUSHI! Super excited!! 

Friday, September 25, 2009

Asian Food Birthday Weekend

Friday is here at last! I've been doing really well this week with food, water, and activity.  I'm pretty proud of my efforts.  Of course, weekends are always a challenge, but I'm trying to keep in mind that perfection isn't my goal.  There will always be distractions, celebrations, happy hours, bad days etc.  I want to stop using these as excuses to not be mindful about what I eat, but also not punish or berate myself when life happens.  It's a delicate balance between the two for me.    

Today happens to be J.’s 31st birthday, so at his request, tonight we’re heading to K-Wok: http://www.k-wok.com/ on the West Bank. We’ve never been, but the reviews online look pretty good – plus, it’s the first place we’ve found in the ‘Cities that serves Filipino food, so J. is ultra excited.

Tomorrow night, we’re going to Origami http://www.origamirestaurant.com/ for sushi with a group of friends to celebrate 2 birthdays (J.’s and our friend Beth’s). Perhaps a movie afterward, but mostly pretty low key.

I plan to do a C25K run when I get home tonight.  My food goal for the weekend is to make conscious choices about what I eat and write it all down. I’ll keep you updated. :)

Before I go for today, I wanted to share that this very moment, I have just finished one of my fave treats from the old folks at Caribou Coffee!

A junior sized Caramel Northern Lite Cooler!! It’s a perfect late afternoon pick-me-up and so so yummy!

TTFN! Have a great weekend!

Thursday, September 24, 2009


It seems to be strange to think about people actually reading this little blog. It makes me feel both flattered and exposed. However, I’m starting to learn that things that make me uncomfortable are also good challenges, so I’ll risk the exposure.

I’ve been trying to lose weight pretty much my entire adult life, sometimes succeeding, but most times it was more of a “I wish I was thinner” thought process rather than a plan in action. I’m a great planner. I could make the plan, but always fell short on execution. I couldn’t count how many times I’ve planned out exactly what I would need to do to lose weight…starting Monday, of course. Each time telling myself, yes, it would be regimented, but absolutely necessary to stick to the plan 100% or this time would be a failure again.

I don’t like thinking of now as a this time. I don’t want to say that this time will be different, this time I’ll follow through. Maybe partly because if there is a this time, does that mean there will be a next time? Having a this time implies that this is a short time period in my life and it has an ending. This path that I’m embarking on doesn’t have an ending. There is no finish line. That is a scary thought – but no one said adventures were easy!

So, a little about me! My name is Laura. I’m 31 and I live in St. Paul, Minnesota with my husband (J.) and the prettiest kitteh in the world (Paris). I love going out to eat and drink with friends, and seeing what the ‘Cities have to offer, so you’ll probably see me chat about that from time to time. I also love books, television and movies, which will also be a topic here, but mainly, I plan to write about my struggles and goals with weight and fitness.

This is my first blog, but I hope you find it interesting and supportive and I wish you the best of luck on your own journey! Thanks for reading!