So, I got to thinking about measuring my BMI. I’ve done it before, but never really put too much thought into it or considered the number very seriously. But, in the last week, I heard two different stories where people referenced their BMI being right at 25, which is the cusp for being overweight – anything higher than 25 is overweight, and anything over 30 is obese, so I thought I would take mine again. My current BMI is 35.2. Doing a little math, I figured out that at my height, I need to lose 5.8 lbs to drop one BMI point. I also figured out that when I was 150 (in that really good driver’s license photo), I was still above 25 BMI (just by a smidge, but still above). Imagine how good I’d look and feel if I was under that pesky little 25! Hm..just imagine…
So, after my tour at the Y Monday, I’m still really scared/nervous to sign up. Where is this hesitation coming from? Let’s make a list.
I’m afraid that:
1. I’ll pay this money and then not use it
2. I’ll be the fattest person there
3. I won’t like it
4. I won’t fit in
5. People will laugh at me
6. I will fail
7. I’ll be too busy and it will stress me out to go
8. I’ll be sweaty and embarrassed in front of people I work with
Now, let’s use our rational mind to respond to these fears:
1. This isn’t a lifetime commitment. If I’m not using the membership, or not getting my value out of it, I can cancel it.
2. At 200 lbs, I couldn’t possibly be the fattest person at the YMCA. And, even if I was the fattest person there, as long as I kept going, I wouldn’t be the fattest for long.
3. See #1. If I try it and don’t like it, I can cancel my membership. But, I won’t know if I like it until I really try it.
4. What’s to fit in with? It’s a gym, not a social club. I don’t have to make friends with anyone…I don’t even have to talk to anyone if I don’t want to. I’ll be there for me, not anyone else.
5. This isn’t 5th grade – if someone laughs at me for trying to get my health and body back, they are an asshole.
6. There is nothing to fail at – this isn’t a competition or a game. As long as I show up, I’m succeeding.
7. Too busy? I get off work at 4:00 and go home and waste 2 hours in front of the TV. I don’t have kids, my husband knows how to cook dinner. If I have one really busy day and can’t make it to the Y, it’s just one day.
8. Sweaty & embarrassed? I think I’ll just have to get over this one. Yes, I’m extra sweaty when I work out, but I need to stop dictating my life by what other people think of me. In one of my favorite movies, Point of No Return, there’s a scene where Dermot Mulroney is going through Bridget Fonda’s grocery cart and he says, “I guess it’s kind of embarrassing to have a stranger rifle through your groceries”, and she says, “Don’t worry about it. I don’t get embarrassed.” How I envy her.
So, where does this leave me? The answer is pretty clear to me - I let my fears and "what ifs" hold me back all the time, and I know where it's gotten me. This is an opportunity for action. My membership will start next Monday & I'll be sure to update you with my adventures there.
Mississippi Ten Miler
Time for a little MTM update - I ran last night when I got home! Yay! I consider it a repeat of W4D1 and let me tell you, it was a challenge to get through it. But, it felt good too. I do have some weird ankle pain going on this morning, but I don't think it's anything a little ice can't cure. Next run is scheduled for Thursday.
I have more I could blabber on about, but I've got a bunch of meetings at work today, so TTFN!