Friday, May 28, 2010

T minus 48 hours

Well, friends, this will be my last post before the big 10 mile run. 48 hours from now, I'll be starting the race. It’s hard to believe it’s been 6 months since this crazy idea popped into my head. I know I really didn’t train up to my full potential and I only got serious about it these last two months, but I am confident that I will be able to run more than half of it and I know now that I can finish it without dying.

I think what I’ve learned from this process is that what I had always held up as being out of my reach, in reality is right in front of me. I used to think, “Oh, if I could just get on the treadmill and run for 30 minutes straight!” Now I can do that and more. I thought the only people who could run 5 miles a day were athletes – stronger, and better than I could ever be. And now I see that strength in myself.

Today I’m wearing a skirt and this morning I looked down at my legs – the same legs I disparaged for being too fat to fit into knee high boots last fall – and thought, “I love my legs – look at how strong they are!”

People are so obsessed with comparing themselves to others - myself included. But, I’m trying to learn that other people’s goals and successes are theirs and theirs alone. I can’t measure my achievement against what other people have already done. This is MY life, and these are MY goals and nothing that anyone else says or does is going to take this away from me.

When I tell people that I’m running in a 10 mile race this weekend, I get a variety of reactions. Some people are surprised that I (obese and un-athletic) might possibly do such a thing, “Wow! Really?” I think that some are in such disbelief that they act as if I just said, “I’m going to the grocery store,” and they make no comment at all and change the subject. Maybe they are thinking, “Did she just say what I think she said? I must have misunderstood…” Some (my mother) are overly enthusiastic (“I think it’s SOOOO, SO, SO GREAT that you are doing this”), leading me to believe that they don’t think I can or will do it. And some people don’t know the difference between 10 kilometers and 10 miles.

But, the people closest to me, the people who really know me realize what a huge thing this is and they believe that I can do it. That means so much more to me than anything else. For me, running 10 miles is a major accomplishment and I won’t minimize my pride in finishing what I’ve started.

After the race, I'm going on vacation, so I won't have any posts for a few more days. But, as soon as I can, I'll post an update for you! Have a great Memorial Day weekend!

No comments: